Men, try to treat your new relationship as you would have treated any new relationship before your HCP ex taught you to walk on eggshells.3) Enforce boundaries with your family of origin post-divorce.It also reinforces your HCP ex’s false belief that she still maintains the numero uno position in your life.My husband’s ex insisted that I call and introduce myself to her (a.k.a. She tried to position herself as the matriarch of their now-defunct family and make me one of her “subjects.” I refused and insisted that my husband introduce me to her in person, you know, like normal people do.I share this with you because it’s important to be cognizant of this phenomenon and not over-commit to the first woman who shows you kindness.When I met my husband, he’d had his transitional relationship and his son was 4-years old.
It may not seem like a big deal, but it sends a message to your new partner that she is an intruder.
In a HCP’s distorted mind, hurts and slights that occurred 10 years ago are as fresh as last week.
And even though the ink on your divorce decree has long since dried, the HCP believes you are still her “property” and that she should come first, even if she has to mask her demands by superimposing them onto your children.
As you create boundaries and move on with your life, you may need to help your family of origin do the same.
Your extended family also needs to leave the past behind and not burden your new partner with lengthy discussions or reminiscing about your HCP ex.