I've been co-hosting young alumni events for name-brand schools for long enough to know that these kids come out a little lopsided (which sounds so much better than "socially awkward," don't you think? All they need is a little tune up, or a little dating textbook like The Tao of Dating for Women or The Tao of Dating for Men, to get them going -- plus a little practice.Of course, as noted above, things only get worse once you graduate.The first prominent online dating site was Match.com, which launched in 1995.e Harmony started in 2000, Ok Cupid in 2004, and more recently, a wave of mobile people-swiping apps, like Tinder and Hinge, have become wildly popular.And for people who have no interest in serious dating and just want to find people to hook up with?Online is a much better way to accomplish that too.I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond who still haven't figured out how to create an intimate connection with another human being. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements.
So it only makes sense that in the romantic arena, it should work the same way. The more stuff I do, the more accomplishments and awards I have, the more girls (or boys) will like me. Please say I'm right, because I've spent a LOT of time and energy accumulating this mental jewelry, and I'm going to be really bummed if you tell me it's not going to get me laid.And it certainly won't bring you lasting love and fulfillment.Here's the thing: Your romantic success has nothing to do with your mental jewelry and everything to do with how you make the other person feel.As for the current online dating options—they strike me as a good first crack at this by humanity, but the kind of thing we’ll significantly improve on to the point where the way it was done in 2014 will seem highly outdated in not too many years.Now that the stigma has diminished, you know this industry is going to race ahead because there’s so much money to be made by whoever can be innovative.So in 2030, I think we’ll be somewhere very different, and I think today’s nine-year-olds will have really incredible ways of finding love when they’re 25. The writing of the books was precipitated by the endemic dating woes on the Harvard campus as I observed them as an advisor and, earlier, indulged in them as a student.I’ve already expressed my argument for why in two posts: one on how critical it is to find the right life partner and how seriously we should take that quest, and another on why going to bars is a terrible life experience.The first step in ending up with the right person is meeting the right person, and for something so important in our lives, we’ve had for doing it efficiently and intelligently.From my observations, the following dating challenges seem to be common to most smart people. So whether you went (or should have gone) to the likes of Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT, Stanford, Columbia, Cornell, Swarthmore, Amherst, Dartmouth, Brown, Oxford, Cambridge, Berkeley, Penn, Caltech, Duke, read on: 1. Time spent studying, doing homework, and practicing the violin is time not spent doing other things -- like chasing boys or girls, which turns out is fairly instrumental in making you a well-rounded human.In fact, the smarter you are, the more clueless you will be, and the more problems you're going to have in your dating life. Smart people spent more time on achievements than on relationships when growing up. And smart families are usually achievement-oriented. The upshot of all that achievement is that you get into a top college -- congratulations!