If it really kills you to see who's viewing your profile before hitting "Delete," most sites let you turn off the function that allows you to see who's peeping your profile.
That way, you can pretend the moron never checked the message in the first place. The Offense: You're in a splendid message volley with an angel, a gorgeous brunette with clever jokes and exceptionally good spelling and grammar skills. She still has a profile on the site, and you can see that she still logs in regularly, but she's as unresponsive as a bleary-eyed Best Buy employee lollygagging amidst the Blu-Rays. Did you go on a bit too long about your two cats, Cody and Pickle?
(CNN) -- Online dating seems like the pinnacle of modernity, an online meat market where glassy-eyed humans browse possible suitors, sorted for ease of shopping by size, shape and moral fabric. " Along with this savanna comes permission to do stuff that'd get you a drink in the face I. Sure, online dating could benefit from a protocol overhaul in terms of courtesy, but begging everyone to change the rules this late in the game would be stupid.
So advanced does it appear, so streamlined and slick-interfaced and "Jetsons"-esque, that it's easy to overlook a very basic truth: Online dating is the freaking savanna. As in, early humans tearing around the open grasslands without much regard for courtship courtesy. Instead, we'd like to tell you, starry-eyed romantics with big dreams of finding love: Toughen up. Stop weeping onto your keyboard in the online quest for love.
Step One is to check your last message or two: Were you getting pushy? If so, take the taciturnity as an indicator of what not to do with the next person.
If the sudden disappearance is truly bewildering, shrug your shoulders, tell yourself a story ("Maybe she met someone great! This person just did the online equivalent of smiling politely, excusing herself to go to the bathroom and leaving you alone at the bar.
It’s not about you, it’s about me.” “The chemistry just isn’t there, you know.”“I think I’m not ready for the next step.”“I just don’t think this is going to work.”If you’ve ever signed up for an online dating service, you’ve most likely heard or said – or both – something like this at some point or another. I THINK IT WENT WELL, BUT I JUST ALWAYS EXPECT TO BE REJECTED, I THINK I AM GOOD AT MASKING MY SELF ESTEEM ISSUES, WHICH STEM FROM A CHILHOOD WHERE MY MOTHER CONSTANTLY REFERRED TO ME AS "STUPID." I MAY BE WRONG ABOUT THE MASKING PART, I DON'T KNOW.
You’ve also probably had people disappear altogether. BUT I HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR, AND I AM DOING MY BEST. One of the problems with internet dating -- with the internet in general -- is that people forget that they're actually dealing with real people on the other end.
Or he makes frequent mention of his sex drive in his profile.
Editor's note: Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book Stuff Hipsters Hate.
When they're not trolling Brooklyn for new material, Ehrlich works as an associate editor at and Bartz is news editor at Psychology Today. We're not about to tell you not to do those things.
Persistence doesn't pay off in the game of online shopping for strangers.
It just makes you seem like a creeper, reinforcing said person's unexplained decision to cut you off. You never know; the next person you contact might be totally into your Cody and Pickle dress-up photo shoots.