I am drawn to men who are starkly different than my husband, who is an intellectual, moderate in terms of his vices and has a disdain for the type of men who spend every evening in a pub.I have a drinking problem but it is not a problem I feel any need to resolve and I am drawn to men who are also drinkers like me.Have you had a “Hey, this isn’t really working” conversation before now? Would you have described yourself as “happily married” before you saw them together? Whatever the answers are, taking your mom on a date to your favorite local moving her shit into your house (which is still your house…I think? I REPEAT: ALL IS NOT WELL.” It’s nice that you are thinking about the possibility of forgiveness for your husband (after you break them up somehow, of course), but my read on this situation is that there is no going back to any kind of happy equilibrium in these relationships.) are not the stealthy moves of professional secret keepers, y’all. He’s always going to be the guy who dated your mom.There has always been something lurking beneath the surface with them and since I haven’t been living with my husband for a long time, I guess she made her move and he couldn’t resist or maybe it was the other way around.
B) In between all the references to “her perfect body” and you pining for the companionable life of long talks and theatre visits you’ve lost, there’s the fact that this has been going on long enough for her to move into your house… That doesn’t mean his choices are your fault – I don’t know how your open marriage works or what ground rules you set but I’m pretty sure he owed you at least one direct “” this is a case of some deep, deep incompatibility and disconnection between the two of you. Did he know whether you ever wanted to come back from living with this most recent dude?It sounds to me like you left him, slowly, on the installment plan, and then he decided to hasten the end by setting everything on fire, including the bridges. When you agreed to an open marriage, did you both envision a situation where either or both of you would move out for long periods of time?And, maybe there’s a reason you never want to be at home where he is lately? ) I have so many questions, like, do you hang out, ever? What does “normal” or “the desired outcome” for your marriage look like to y’all? Is there a compelling reason to stay married to him, beyond say, the legalities or force of habit?I went to the toilet and threw up and then I dragged my lover out of the pub and went straight to the off-licence where I bought a litre bottle of vodka and drank it at his house until I passed out.I can’t help but feeling betrayed by my mother and my husband.I am a 34 year old straight woman in an open marriage with a 39 year straight man.I have taken far more advantage of the openness of our marriage than my husband, at least until recently.Your mom is always going to be the mom who dated your husband.You’re framing it as “” but your husband did just as much stealing and breaking of trust.I can forgive my husband but I could never forgive her and I can’t tolerate the fact that they are together. The references to the lube and the “perfect body”…this can’t be real.And then I read it again and thought, well, this person sounds lonely as fuck and she had the guts to tell some judgy asshole strangers her story and if it’s real OH MY GOD her HUSBAND and her MOM are THE WORST PEOPLE and maybe we can help validate THAT if nothing else.